I'll be honest, Cameron, and in doing so perhaps revealing the true quality of cement in my head:
I found this a somewhat torturous read. On the other head, if read to me, I think I'd like it a lot more. My problem has to do with enjambments and what seem to me to be complicated expression that would be more appealing if more direct.
I am braced for the backlash against my initial response, meanwhile really intrigued by what you are doing with rhyme.
I love the Goya painting, but I interpret it somewhat differently, which is what is so great about the Goya painting. Are you familiar with Turner's
"Dawn After the Wreck"?
Rick