Carl!,
I do think I'll stick with crink and tail. The quirkiness adds something. I was as shocked to see "David" in my initial address as you were. Moreso, actually!
Thanks Joe,
I'm glad you see a something creating tension with the "lite". Also, the word choice. There needs to be a kind of economy in the diction with lite verse. I'm thinking about "monkey", but I like the broad category's associations, especially paired with "sloth".
I also think this needs a third stanza to set up the current closer, one that doesn't mention animals. Something to cue up what I'm getting at in God taking another crack at me.
Thanks guys.
RM
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