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First, the title is excellent.
Second, the first stanza could easily stand alone, yet without the next two stanzas it would be less a poem than it is as part of the whole.
Third, the N's voice is unquestionably salt-laden and speaks from a place of intimacy that is bursting synergy.
Fourth, the cadence and rhyme are deft.
Fifth, the imagery approaches tangibleness, especially the imaginary imagery in S2.
Sixth, the movement from start to finish sounds like thoughts spoken aloud. I will never again feel distain for someone who passes by me in deep conversation with themselves.
Seventh, there is a "Call me Ishmael" quality to the narrative.
Eighth, the poem is obviously born from the storms that Plum Island has been pounded by this winter. I've thought of you a few times while watching the news/weather.
Ninth, I agree with all of Shaun's comments except possibly his suggestion that the opening line could be tweaked to read, Once this was vs. This once was. I like the directness of and energy in This once was.
Tenth, you had me at dunes.
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Last edited by Jim Moonan; 02-21-2024 at 10:10 AM.
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