[Matt Q]

Hi Michael,

This works very well for me. Building a big wall, after all, is the answer to all life's problems. I particularly like the sense of menace in S2, the line-break on "spears", the flaying and the rotting. And what a great turn in the closing line.

I wonder a bit about "besiege", which arguably rhymes as well with "sea" as it does with "beach" and potentially confuses as the rhyme scheme has yet to be fully established at this point. Plus it seems to be the only slant rhyme. I wondered if you could something with "breach", which shouldn't take much tweaking. For example, "as waters surge and thunder forth to breach ...

S1L10, maybe "our wall of rocks" or "the wall of rocks"? As it stands, it sounded to me a bit like there are multiple walls and they pick one. I can see it doesn't have to be read that way, though.

I wonder a bit about "something says that next year will be worse". What thing says that? It's maybe the use of "say" that seems slightly off to me. Do you mean the have a feeling this will be the case? In which case, maybe "and something tells me/us ..."? Or "and something whispers next year ...".

"mulitipy" in S3L2 is a typo

We’ll PILE MASSive BRICK on BRICK as HIGH

I mean, I can sort of make "pile" close to two syllables, but it's a diphthong -- a single syllable. Or maybe it isn't where you are? Anyway, all your other lines are strict IP so I just thought I'd flag this one up.

best,

Matt