Michael, I like it. I do feel that "besiege" is a bit weak as a rhyme. Perhaps something like "as waters surge and gather force to reach" for S1L4? Like Joe, I noticed the identity rhyme of "swell" in S3. Can you do something with "quell" or "dispel" for one of them? I preferred the "dead-fish smell" to "the stench that hints of Hell," which is just too vague. I could believe that surging waters might trap fish on the shore, where they would die. And that smell is certainly repellent. Also, in S3L5 I have trouble picturing a "rush of stone" due to the wave action. Stones tend to move slowly. What are you trying to convey with that phrase?
Susan
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