Hi Michael,
Coming here late. I agree with the positive points others have made, especially about the narrator and his tone and perspective. I like it a lot.
One suggestion: In stanza one, consider making some kind of change along the lines of
then a screech / of aging timber breaking, and it’s free,
maybe aged or ancient for aging, but aging might be better, suggesting the process of getting old rather than the accomplishment of it.
I keep getting tripped up on "the screech of aging," which strikes me as a "thing" but not what you're talking about. The comma sets it apart, I guess, and my mind wants to complete a thought when I get to it. Also, a change eliminates one of two modifiers (...!), turning "breaking" into a verb.
Rick
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