[mignon ledgard]

Jim,

I think you have something really good here and the key to bring it forth is to allow your feelings to write the poem. But poetry has its demands and the poet is at its service. First person is not lifting; it is grounding the wonder of it.

What I see here is a variation on Lorca's notion of 'duende.' Please, don't lose the original.

You may wish to stick to memories verbatim, but poetry has its demands and one of them is the surrender to it, not too different from duende. It could be said that both are zealous demiurges.

I hope I won't come back and wish I hadn't posted until after a little rumination. ha

~mignon