I pretty much agree with Matt’s take on this. I recognised the echoes of Prufrock, Dylan Thomas, Laurence Binyon, (Rumi?). I did wonder if it was some sort of cento. I liked the rhyming last lines of the stanzas and particularly enjoyed the parliament of owls S3. The weakest part for me was S2 where you use Eliot’s coffee spoons metaphor and then rather woodenly go on to explain it. I don’t think it needs an explanation. So I think I would find something better for S2L2&3.
Cheers
Joe
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