How do you present multiple quotes from one post of another person in a reply? I couldn't figure it out, so I've presented your words in bold below, Carl.
Thanks, but I didn’t intend to drop those rhymes. “Ago is,” “owe. It’s,” “so in,” “poem,” “know, in,” “flow, un-“ and “going” in the qaafiyaa position are all meant to rhyme. If that doesn’t come across, this poem is headed for the dump along with the storage items that no one wants. In fact, that may be what I meant by S3L2!
Oh, the way that you dispersed the qaafiya rhymes across more than one word is what threw me off. But I did catch the resonances on some level! I wouldn’t let my shortcomings in conscious, imaginative observation discourage you here.
The rose represents the dream I cultivated of a rosy life with all those things, and their removal is the stripping away of petals.
Right--I did get that, it just felt like a bit of a quaint stretch to me, but not a fatal one.
The petaled faces are family photos—an archive going back generations—but I realize that the reference is all but indecipherable, and I’d like it to be clearer.
Oh! Interesting.
The latter’s what I had in mind—“wisdom” standing in for “a wise person”—a synecdoche, I guess (about time I learn those words).
Synecdoche, or metonymy, I guess--they seem to be synonymous based on the info I've been able to find so far, but I somehow doubt they really are. Yeah, I can see the wisdom reference as synecdoche, but if a reader interprets this differently, as is easy to do, she runs into trouble.
What “bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” isn’t really love, but a loving person.
Interesting perspective. I have no problem with accepting the abstraction, myself.
I meant to be consistent with the myth, but the myth isn’t terribly consistent to begin with. The miseries are activated by being released, while hope operates by staying trapped in the box.
Oh, in grade school, when I was first introduced to the Greek myths, I had heard that hope was released from the box along with all the miseries--or at least that's my memory of it. You're right, the actual myth is not consistent. Incidentally, I just read that the "box" arose from an incorrect interpretation of the original myth's "jar."
Thanks for the filigree critiquing, Alexandra! (Does that make sense in English? In Russian, the adjectival form of “filigree” can describe any delicate workmanship.)
Inventive expression! But in English, I'd say the figurative connotation of "filigree" is less complimentary--along the lines of unnecessary or excessive ornamentation.
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