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Unread 04-08-2024, 05:43 AM
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Alexandra Baez Alexandra Baez is offline
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Join Date: May 2005
Location: Alexandria, VA, USA
Posts: 701
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Carl Copeland View Post

Turning the poem into a true ghazal was easier than I thought only to the extent that I thought it would be impossible.
That's hilarious! I feel you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Carl Copeland View Post
It wasn’t easy, but verse never is for me. I was stunned to learn that a beautiful formal poem posted over a year ago was written in a single sitting!
I know! For me, the whole "prompt poem" movement is a complete no-go, and Einstein's 99% perspiration rule applies 82% of the time.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Carl Copeland View Post
I also tried subbing “fly,” but “go” somehow helps to justify “going” at the end of the line. That’s something about the ghazal form that continues to vex me: the need for each use of the radif to feel natural in its couplet as well as a little different from the others. The variation may not be a requirement, but ending each line with “It’s going” wouldn’t have been very interesting.
I like your intuition and your confidence in it here.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Carl Copeland View Post
No, the direction is relative to heaven, not Pandora. “Laying up treasures in heaven” is the one allusion that didn’t seem to come across.
Oh, okay. I don't know why the phrase seems to create a distance in my mind between Pandora and "here below."

Quote:
Originally Posted by Carl Copeland View Post
“Nurtured” was the stand-in I had waiting in the wings. I’m persuaded. Thanks.
Yay!
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