Leave it to Jim to say everything I’d have said if I were as eloquent and as familiar as he is with the poet’s work. I like the spell of the poem’s alternative universe, and the absence of punctuation gives it a flow I like enough that I’m frustrated by the invisible full stop at the end of S1. Would you consider starting S2 with something like “by which time” to make the whole poem a single run-on sentence? I guess I know what the lone comma is doing, but it’s a little like Marker’s blinking eye.
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