I’m with Carl on keeping “lies.” One possible solution is to finesse it with punctuation:
. . .Here lies/ a phone—a book, sweatpants, a blue ink dot
Or
. . .Here lies/ a phone. (A book. Sweatpants. A blue ink dot.)
The bonus in this one is that the parentheses imitate the grouping of random items into lists that you mention in the last line of the poem. It’s as if the speaker is struggling to create meaning by comparing and contrasting. “How is a raven like a writing desk?”
Glenn
Last edited by Glenn Wright; 04-14-2024 at 06:24 PM.
|