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Hi Alexandra,
I like the things you’ve done in the revision, but I don’t sense an expansion of the meaning/focus from the window frame to a broader meaning/metaphorical significance. For me, it was there already: the window frame as a metaphor for your frame of mind; as a kind of living stage upon which the seasons play out, For me, though, I was most enamored by being led by the N to something I hadn’t noticed before in all my years of looking through windows: the window. I suddenly saw the window as a sacrificial thing; an animate thing that grew old and weathered. Like being made aware of the pyre itself vs. what the pyre enables by virtue of it being present. The N drew my attention to the window frame as being the eyes on my face that I always take for granted.
The poem is inescapably timeless in its diction. That's a good place to be, imo. It twines classical-tinged phrasing with an almost free verse-like voice/mentality and fresh imagery. You have found just the right combination to keep it contemporary while still speaking your thoughts in a kind of code language that a lover of classical poetry can immediately identify with. It is a tightrope walk using diction as your balancing pole.
As for the “O” that launches the poem, I had a comical thought: What if the poem began instead with “Wow!” (Ok, you can stop laughing now : )) But weirdly it works for me. (Just don’t tell anyone —Ha!)
Is there some reason why the title isn't "March Window"? I do wonder if there might be a better title hiding somewhere...
I continue to love this poem.
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