Glenn, Rick, Sam, John, Julie, Carl and Roger,
Thank you all for your comments. I'm glad this one seems to be working.
Glenn,
Quote:
Originally Posted by Glenn Wright
I did wonder, though, about the bones. Wouldn’t they have survived the digestion process?
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I'm thinking you've never met a wolf-thing
Rick,
Thanks, Rick. I do enjoy writing with slant rhymes.
Sam,
I'm hoping that the repetition of "weight" is doing some work in drawing out both the literal and existential meanings of "weight", but that's a useful comment, and I will give some thought to the repetition and possible alternatives.
Julie
Quote:
Originally Posted by Julie Steiner
I do wonder about rhyming "shits" with "thinks," but I guess it works as more of a conceptual rhyme than a phonetic one.
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In UK RP, it's a fully assonant rhyme /ʃɪts/ /θɪŋks/ -- the vowel sounds are identical. As a bonus there's also consonance with /s/ at the end of both, and what I'm going to call some "near-consonance", because /t/ and /k/ have similar sounds (both are "voiceless plosives"), as do the digraphs /ʃ/ and /θ/, (due to 'h' in both). So I don't hear it as weak phonetically. Can you say more about why it doesn't work for you? Do the vowel sounds differ from each other where you are? All that aside, I do like the idea of this being a conceptual rhyme!
John,
Thanks, John. That's good to read.
Carl and
Roger
To save face, I'm going to pretend I knew the Eliot poem and was referencing it.
Thanks again, everyone.
Matt