I’m willing to concede the point that “idea” has three syllables, but you still end up a syllable short in line 7. Could you swap “move” for “moving?” A headless foot in the middle of a line of IP just bothers me.
I like “tumorous” a lot. Even as I typed this post, auto-correct wanted to make it “timorous” three times. It has a great hollow sound.
I like the new ending, but I liked the original one better.
Glenn
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