I didn't follow the logic between L1 and L2, either.
Would the poem work better with LL1-2 cut? Probably not. The enjambment seems to need an end-stopped preamble to set it off, and without an introductory joke of some sort, the poem feels even more preachy than it already is.
Invoking Pope and Nash sets the bar pretty high for wit and for surprising rhymes, and most readers won't be able to refrain from asking themselves if this poem is closer to the level of Pope and Nash or to the level of the bad poets sneered at in L1.
One of my pet peeves is when I write about one of my pet peeves and a reader expresses surprise that, of all the things to be annoyed about in the world, my subject is in my top ten. But on this particular week, I can't help wondering if this particular issue is worthy of my limited attention and capacity for empathy with the narrator's annoyance. (Yeah, yeah, I know, that sort of judgmental attitude is absolutely deadly to the enjoyment of light verse, and muses are capricious. Maybe tomorrow I'll be in a more receptive mood.)
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