Aah. The village show. Just in case some our readers aren't familiar with this eccentric and deadly serious British tradition, here is
one of many possible links .
You will observe, for instance, that "if you show 2 sticks of Rhubarb instead of 3 or a jar of orange and lemon marmalade instead of orange and grapefruit, your exhibits may be rejected as “Not as Schedule”".
I do like the idea of a potato with a distinguished service medal.