Hi, Rick—
I like the vivid images and the sharp contrast between South and North. I wondered if this was a mini-allegory of our current national divide. The last line is haunting, but puzzling. Were the explosions in line 11 an attempt to revive nature? I’m not sure whether to read it as “Nothing is able to revive the breeze from stillness,” or “Nothing is able to give life to the breeze of nothingness.”
The poem presents 15 lines of unrhymed almost-IP, but a few lines (notably lines 8 and 10) can’t be scanned without major contortions. This strikes me as a poem that either wants to be a sonnet or that wants to break free and be non-met.
On balance, it leaves a strong impression. “Prussian rectitude incapable of forgiveness” makes a nice contrast with the vat of dirty ray fish, and “annoyingly interesting” is a memorable description .
Glenn
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