Hi Rick--
I found this poem subject fascinating. I was quite surprised to learn from Google that the bit about the vat of ray fish at Tropicana Field is true!
Line 14 is my favorite image of the poem: "The sun sets citrus orange over Tampa Bay". You might consider the substitution "o'er" here which would shorten this to 5 feet from 6. But the image of the citrus orange sun is gorgeous.
Line 12 is, for me, the least effective line: "The game becomes annoyingly interesting". I'd love at this point if you were to loop me back to the fish from the beginning of the poem. Something like "Booming bats distract us from the fish and desperate runners start to take some risk". I'm just rapping with you here... You do you. But I feel that the overall theme of the poem is your secret preference for the fish and the sun over the action of the ball game, and so I'd love for the poem to double-back to the fish before the end.
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