Hi Carl,
This one doesn't do a lot for me. It's a ghazal addressed to Babylon, listing various historical/mythic events that happened in Babylon. Ok, but why should that interest or engage me? If I don't know the history/myth, I'll be lost. And if I do know it, what have learned? (I guess I might enjoy ticking off what I recognize). And why am I even looking to a poem to instruct me on history/myth?
I'd say the poem needs a subtext. (If it has one, I missed it, sorry). Perhaps a ghazal to lover (lost in the past, say), where Babylon is a metaphor/symbol of said lover -- or the historical/mythic events symbolise events in the love affair -- or the love affair is recast in ancient Babylon somehow.
I'm not going to tell you a ghazal must to do X,Y,Z, though traditionally, there's an element of love and loss / longing, which is why I suggest a lover here, but that's just an example: no reason why you should restrict yourself in this way. My main point is that without a subtext, it's hard to see this poem working (for me, anyway).
best,
Matt
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