[Siham Karami]

(A brief note on why this is in the Deep End; it’s metrical without end-rhyme, and I wanted to revive this forum to explore the use of irregularity - or too much of it - in a regular meter, and any other thing one might be bothered by in this poem.)

Revision 3

Elegy to My Heart

I know you dying and I know you alive
Captivated by a pair of hands
The harp glistens down its waterfall
And choirs rise above a distant dune

Vast orchestras know nothing of our rhythms
Entwined in a concerto’s tidal flow
The universe a waveform passing through
As intimate as fingertips and bones

So television news is now a ghost
Like Walter Cronkite’s sonorous farewell
And daily bread in mother’s radio
Drones metallic noise into the blue

And pain a swelling mountain urging on
And on and on the awful drumming falls
And yet you hold me in this pas de deux
Partners in a whirling prayer whose blur

Overturns each wave that aches between
The arms of lost affections and their wars
So ancient lutes could finally enchant
This chamber music floating on the sound

—————————————————-

Revision 2

Elegy to My Heart

I know you dying and I know you alive
Captivated by a pair of hands
The harp glistens down its waterfall
And choirs rise above a distant dune

Vast orchestras know nothing of our rhythms
Entwined in a concerto’s tidal flow
The universe a waveform passing through
As intimate as fingertips and bones

So television news is now a ghost
Like Walter Cronkite’s sonorous farewell
And daily bread in mother’s radio
Drones metallic noise into the blue

And pain a swelling mountain urging on
And on and on the awful drumming falls
And yet you hold me in this pas de deux
Partners in a whirling prayer whose blur

Overturns each wave that aches between
The arms of lost affections and their wars
So ancient lutes’ glissando could enchant
This chamber music floating on the sound


—————————
Elegy to My Heart
Revision 1

Captivated by a pair of hands
The harp glistens down its waterfall
A chorus dawning in a distant dune
I know you dying, know you too alive

Vast orchestras know nothing of our rhythms
Entwined in a concerto’s tidal flow
The universe a waveform passing through
As intimate as bones and fingertips

So television news is now a ghost
Like Walter Cronkite’s sonorous farewell
And daily bread in mother’s radio
Metallic noise drones into foghorn blue

And pain a swelling mountain urging on
And on and on the awful drumming falls
And yet you hold me in this pas de deux
Partners in a whirling prayer whose blur

Overturns each wave that aches between
The arms of lost affections and their wars
So ancient lutes could finally enchant
This chamber music ferried through a sound.


***************

Original Stanzas1 and 2 were:
I know you dying, and I know you alive
The harp glistens down its waterfall
A chorus rises in the distant dune
Captivated by a pair of hands

Orchestras mere illustrations of your hands
Entwined in a concerto’s tidal flow
The universe a waveform passing through
As intimate as bones and fingertips