Hi, Siham—
I enjoyed your poem very much. Like Paula, I thought perhaps that there was an underlying reference to a heart condition, and the music of the heartbeat is the music connecting the speaker to the universe, like the radio transmission of Walter Cronkhite’s last telecast, traveling in space long after his death. I especially like the image of the speaker being embraced by her heart, like the prima donna in a ballet’s pas de deux. I also like the /d/ alliteration in S1 that suggests the “lub-dub” of a heartbeat.
In S1L4, the lack of punctuation creates ambiguity. “I know you dying, know you too alive” could be understood four ways:
“I know you as you are dying and know you as you are overly alive”
“I know you as you are dying and know you as you are alive as well”
“I know you as I am dying and know you as I am overly alive”
“I know you as I am dying and know you as I am alive as well”
Perhaps this ambiguity was deliberate.
Very moving piece. Fine work!
Glenn
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