[Nick McRae]

Originally Posted by Glenn Wright

Hi, Nick—

It is interesting to me that Paula heard the speaker as a feminine voice. I heard it as a masculine voice. The poem seems to invite the reader to hear it in his or her own voice.

The first two stanzas seem to be about a separation, perhaps but not necessarily permanent and catastrophic. In stanza 3 it becomes clearer that this separation involves a death. In stanza 4 we see the speaker and the partner as grandparents, and it is clear that the speaker is imagining the partner’s death with final acceptance and resignation. The imagery moves from plants, weather, ponds, and birds to the sun’s cosmic journey beyond the horizon. Very careful and effective use of repetition and variation. Fine work.

Originally Posted by John Boddie

Nick - This is fine work - a piece that gets better with each re-reading. I became more aware of the repetitions that are seemingly effortless, of the music that is found when reading it aloud. It's well beyond my ability to create something this good. Thank you for posting it.

Originally Posted by John Riley

I agree this is good, Nick. Seriously good. Congratulations.

Thanks all for the kind words and perspectives. It's helpful to know that it's coming across well.