[Nick McRae]

Cameron, I'd been hesitant to comment on this one once you revealed that it's an older one of yours, as I don't know how much you need the critique. But I'll give my two cents.

I think by anyone's usual standards this is a very strong poem, although personally I found a discrepancy between the intensity of the imagery and the poem's narrative. To me the imagery is a touch overstated for the content, where I've found your more recent poems much more balanced and measured.

I see a lot of parallels between this poem and poems in Leonard Cohen's 'Let Us Compare Mythologies' (his first title). The writing skill was clearly present, although it sounded like it was coming from a 22 year old. In Cohen's case I found that there was a movement toward humility, humanity, understatement, and subtlety throughout his life, and much more interesting themes as he picked up life experiences. Between his first and last title 40 years later, it's really night and day.

I don't think you really need my critique of this poem at this point, but hopefully this perspective is an interesting one for you.