Hi, Carl—
You made me feel so guilty about cheating the meter that I went back and made some of the changes you suggested. I like the chiasmus in S2L2, but I’m sure you’ll ding me for the inversion in S2L4. The original uses only four rhymes in an ABBA ABBA CDCDCD scheme. I managed to preserve that in the pentameter version, but couldn’t pull it off in the tet.
I hope these edits cheer you up and speed your quick recovery.
Glenn
Last edited by Glenn Wright; 06-01-2024 at 01:24 AM.
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