Hi Paula!
Mark's crit is fantastic, and what you've done in your revision is, too! The whole poem has come more alive.
I do love the new line "gathering this strong cloth off the floor"—visual and tactile at the same time. I can feel the vigour of it. The weight and the energy to lift into life!
I wonder would it be better if you changed tense in the second stanza: "... my muse whispers on the wind/ and rustles". You had it that way in the first draft, and it works better for me that way.
I still feel something else is possible in the last line—an image that really lifts the poem into another way of being than the one described in the first stanza.
Good work!
Cally
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