Thread: The Dhoor
View Single Post
  #2  
Unread 06-01-2024, 11:39 PM
Perry Miller Perry Miller is offline
Member
 
Join Date: May 2024
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 34
Default

If we take the word "Dhoor" to mean something in your mother's past that isn't quite understood or identified, then the poem works for me -- although you say she "taught" there, so how can it be a complete mystery? That line alone is in danger of derailing the poem (to the extent that it identifies the "Dhoor" as a school). To keep the poem entirely mysterious, you might change ...

It was somewhere she taught, the Dhoor.

... to this ...

Was it somewhere she taught, the Dhoor?

Do you see what I'm getting at? This will never be your greatest masterpiece, but it will fit somewhere in your canon.
Reply With Quote