[Matt Q]

Hi David,

I enjoyed this, and I can relate to it too.

I kind of wonder what the purpose of the S2L1 is. It resolves the mystery of the opening line for the reader, I guess, but doesn't seem to do more than this, and seems logically unconnected to the rest of the stanza. And does this disclosure really help the poem? Maybe the poem works better if the mystery is unresolved and the Dhoor is never explained? Then the reader is left, like the N, in a state of incomplete information, which is maybe more appropriate to the poem.

Perry's suggestion of turning the line into a question is an interesting one, and would help maintain the mystery. That said, the speaker begins by asking "When was the Dhoor?", which seems an odd question if he doesn't know what it was. And L2 indicates he does know.

This line strike me as trimeter:

the unCERTain biOGraPHY

Are you hoping I'll stress "the"? That's not naturally stressed, so that only happens if I force it. Easy enough to fix though with one-syllable modifier before "uncertain", I guess, if you can find one.

In the last line, I wonder if a full stop after day gives the final statement little more power, makes it a little more final, somehow?

I'd clarify it all, somehow,
some day. But I can't ask her now.

best,

Matt