[Rick Mullin]

Calleroo...


I love what I'm getting from this--the glory of "no holds barred". The power of the uncontrolled once we open up and realize we don't have it under control. Favorite lines are as follows:

when the footprint gives up following

when tears drown the witch's bottle

when the circus breaks new ground

and of course:

when whimsy bolts the clown


The moon line I read as the moon, which we think of in terms of its controlling force regarding tides and being something stuck in place by cosmic physics, leaves it to you, relinquishes control and leaves the overpowering tides to you.

I'm only mentioning meter because this is a metrical board thread--I am having a hard time finding something consistent.

Lastly, I like the unpunctuated lines, even the one that would normally get a question mark. But I'm not crazy about the layout and I don't like the title repeated in the first line. I like it better stated in the title and echoed in the final line without that immediate repetition. And I'm not seeing a compelling reason for spacing out the lines in the stanzas. For comparison's sake, look at this, which compensates for what might be lost in the change by capping the lines:

When don't turns into do


When the door doesn't stop the rain
When the footprint gives up following
When the keeper flouts the flame
When tears drown the witch's bottle
When the circus breaks new ground
When Etna blows smoke rings
Who's looking down on you


Who's looking down on you
When whimsy bolts the clown
When the cut steel and the tip stain
Impress the fervent crowd
When there are hidden houses
Building in dark corners
Wwhere the eye of the local warden
Is bound to notice you


But you can see straight through
etc

RM