I like this an awful lot, Alexandra, especially S1 and the last line—and even things I might’ve thought I wouldn’t like: the broken line, the sporadic rhyme, the sonnet+ form. Here are a few half-hearted attempts at criticism:
The title-subtitle-epigraph apparatus seems a bit top-heavy. The epigraph effectively foreshadows the occult elements of the poem, but can’t we at least do without “paraphrase”? I like “Moonsqueeze,” and it ties in with the first line, but I almost wish you’d replace both title and subtitle with “Full Sturgeon Moon.”
“Trackless” seemed a little cliché to me, though I don’t suppose it’s been used as much with “sky” as with “wilderness” and “sea.” In fact, the sky is full of star tracks, though perhaps not on a bright night like this one, and that may be the point.
“A mad dog” struck me as a bit over the top, but I’m not sure why I want a realistic dog between cartwheeling nebulae and swallowed Perseids.
I puzzled over “the witch-kid lot,” but on second thought, I suppose it’s the visions you’re stacking up on tabletops.
I’m not sure where the “hem” comes from, but I love that line. Don’t touch it!
This poem is what a full moon should feel like!
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