Dink Derigideroo, at first I wanted initial caps and less space between lines. That was before I saw your revision, which is worlds livelier and works with lowercase and spaces. Somehow you've made each line a poem in itself, so the spaces are necessary. These are my favorite lines - I feel such life in them!
the runes of the runneling rain
and the hunch of the half-starved possum
gnawing the blackberry canes
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