Hi, Carl and mignon!
There is actually a scientific term that makes the connection between udders and a certain cloud formation, although I wouldn't advise using it in the poem because the register would be way off:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mammatus_cloud
I think the new L1 is perfect.
I did not take offense at "crone," even if that term is often used pejoratively. This is poetry. Folksy and weird diction is totally appropriate.
I took both the sauna imagery and the "stew of crones" figuratively. I'm still puzzled as to how literal the description of them (plural) climbing into an oven is supposed to be, because the steam implied by both the sauna and the stew imagery; ovens seem dryer than that. To me, simply from the standpoint of how large their oven is likely to be, it seems more likely that multiple women would be congregating in a larger area like a kitchen, that is
as hot as an oven, perhaps so they can perform some communal task like canning, as an opportunity to gossip. None of these musings should be taken as demands to change anything in the poem; the poet said what he said and you shouldn't steer the translation a certain way unless there's a very good reason for doing so. I'm just thinking with my mouth open (expressing all this mainly for my own benefit as I wrestle with the idea). My use of that expression was puzzling in another thread, but generally that's what my husband says when he's muttering to himself and I answer him — "Oh, sorry, I wasn't talking to you; I was just thinking with my mouth open."
If it's a kitchen and not an oven, I don't know what to do with the descriptions of ash, which do seem pretty literal. So I'm probably wrong.
Yes, I meant that reeds grow in shallows, not depths, and since "wider and deeper" were both mentioned in the definition, I thought "wider" would fit better.
Yes, I prefer "boys" to "kids."