Lovely, Nemo.
I initially read Speaker 2 as being a somewhat accusatory daughter. If you would like to clarify the nature and tone of the relationship between the two speakers — and you might not, although it would have helped those who, like me, were struggling to suss out the context — you could easily turn the initial "But" of Speaker 2 into "Friend,".
You might (or might not) also consider changing this somewhat stilted bit:
“It’s the heart of me you know.
into something like this:
"The heart of me, how well you know!
Editors of a certain age will probably wince at the capitalized preposition "of" in the title.
Last edited by Julie Steiner; 06-23-2024 at 11:23 PM.
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