Hi Deborah and Carl,
Thanks for keeping at me. I will start by rewriting this stretch:
Show me a man/
or bring him back
is now
Enter a stranger/
Marked for life
Also I changed "for squeezing" to "while squeezing". Not so sure about this second change.
Let me know what you think,
RM
Last edited by Rick Mullin; 06-27-2024 at 07:53 AM.
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