[Carl Copeland]

Sorry about the snail, Julie. It wasn’t so much the snail that bothered me as the thought of the moon’s foot leaving a trail of snail ink. Anyway, in the new version, “keeps” makes the sketching sound like an unwanted, involuntary action. You could always change it to “is”—or maybe you’ll come up with a version of that line you like better. Nor am I thrilled about “embraces” without a direct object, though poetry can handle it, I suppose. Two alternatives would be:

the sea embraces you; you’re blanketed
the sea enfolds you, and you’re blanketed

Pushkin is a fan of ellipses, and nobody’s ever quite sure what he’s doing with them. I usually try to preserve them, but the Diego example is a bit over-the-top, at least for English, and your decision to turn three of them into dashes works well for me.

I’ll be posting a “moony” translation tomorrow. That word interested me, because Russian has such a versatile adjective for “moon” (it sounds like “loony”), while “lunar” is pretty limited in English. Saying that your love has “moon eyes” or “lunar eyes” isn’t going to sound right in many cases.