Thanks, Julie!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Julie Steiner
An otherworldly, lunar maiden,
you lived a life not all your own.
I had trouble figuring out what that meant, especially since "all" seemed emphatic due to its position in the meter. After seeing the crib's
You were lunar, alien/foreign
and not your own master.
it became somewhat more clear to me, but most readers won't have the benefit of the crib.
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You zeroed in on the bit that I struggled with the longest. I finished the translation in about a day and half—fast for me—except for L4, which took another brain-wracking day. And I’m still not sure what’s meant. Is she not her own master because she’s engaged? Because her “lunar” allure affects the N and his earthly surroundings in ways that she can’t control? Both, perhaps.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Julie Steiner
"The wormwood steppe (or was it water?)" might be, at least partially, a Biblical reference …
But the more common Russian word for one species seems to be чернобы́ль, chernobyl, so maybe it's just that.
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Great research, Julie! I didn’t know it, but
chernobyl (“black stem”) is indeed a name for
Artemisia vulgaris, the species I suspect is meant in the poem. But I think Russians more commonly use the blanket term “polyn” for all
Artemisia species, including mugwort, sagebrush and wormwood, and that’s the word used in the Russian Bible (“pelyn” in Church Slavonic).
Quote:
Originally Posted by Julie Steiner
I'd like to see italics to indicate the direct speech here
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Ok, done.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Julie Steiner
No need for elision. It's 2024, not 1824, and a little anapestic substitution never killed anyone.
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I was waiting to get flack for that. Right you are. Done.