Greetings N!
I have a love of archaisms myself and also an appreciation for the fantastical. This appears to be a character sketch, and I'm imagining it as an introduction to a more fully fleshed character with a name and a story arc. I think it would be easier to absorb it in the larger context, but since it is divorced from that here, I'm just processing it as a standalone poem.
My favorite bit is the loosing of a burning kiss from the bow of her lips. The extended metaphor there feels quite rich. Like Glenn, I appreciate the regularity of your meter and the bristling of the many different weapons you've drawn for her.
However, my overall impression is that I'm struggling with the syntax and just making sense here. The unbroken nesting of clause after clause is quite exhausting for me to read. For me, personally, I would like this broken into some distinct sentences each ended with periods. I realize that the semi-colons essentially function to do that, but I'd prefer periods. A nice period just gives the brain a place to rest for a second. But I may just be a lazy reader or not understand what you're doing here.
I also am just confused in places:
I struggled to imagine a panoply of fierce "whispers, charms, and smiles". How does one charm fiercely?
I'm not sure about wielding a hilt. Why not wielding her beauty's "blade"?
I can't parse "Her wits out-legion such a force of arms,/ That fortune’s gallant soldier turns to alms;"
I take it to mean she's very witty. But I'm not sure who "fortune's gallant soldier" could be. Who is fortune and why does fortune have a soldier (gallant or otherwise)? Why does her being witty make him a beggar? Is he so gallant that he gives her all his money? Perhaps.
I guess I think maybe this got carried away with clever images and strong meter and lost a little bit of a grip on meaning.
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