N., I’m curious: Are you writing in the language of a specific period or specific writers? If you’re writing, say, in the language of Spenser or Chapman, I suppose you should be using “liveth,” “wieldeth,” etc. But I think Shakespeare was already moving away from those forms, so Chapman himself may have been using old-fashioned language for poetic effect. I suppose your target period is mid to late seventeenth century: Milton and Dryden.
Note that your new second sentence is no longer grammatical—unless “that drop” is subjunctive, but I doubt anyone will read it that way. Here’s my modernized paraphrase as an illustration:
She outwits armies that soldiers drop their arms.
You need “so” before outwits. A metrically less problematic solution, though weaker, would be to replace “that” with “, and.”
Last edited by Carl Copeland; 07-29-2024 at 06:22 AM.
|