Quote:
Originally Posted by Paula Fernandez
Is this intended to be a ghazal? Or just ghazal adjacent? The ghazals that I've been reading were a bit more strict about the rhyme (qafiya) going straight into the radif. But you've broken the two apart throughout with "to" "of" "them by our" and other breaks. If that's right, then I appreciate your teaching me that this degree of variation is still correct for the form.
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I think you’re more of a ghazal guru than I am now, Paula, but my impression is that none of this separation between qafiya and radif is correct for a strict, traditional ghazal. I’d personally be lenient with short, unstressed words like “to” and “of,” which I think of as attached to the qafiya, making a slant rhyme (and I prefer it if they rhyme a little too, e.g., in, is, its). I’m too much of a traditionalist to be happy about wider separations like “through sleep &” and “them by our,” but I wouldn’t strip the poem of its ghazal status on those grounds. It’s an unruly one, that’s all.