[Mark McDonnell]

Hi Carl,

"What ghosts, what galaxies, fall down the cracks" was still tetrameter, I'm sure. David prefers galaxies and maybe you do too? I do think a shipwreck can fall down a crack, though. It could be balanced on rocks at the bottom of the sea, then slip down further into some even more mysterious crevice. I'll think about that line.

Hi Cameron,

I'm glad the ending works well for you. In a way, the ending explains the beginning: it's the fruit stone that is the mystery, the "puzzling" thing.
What would you think of something like this?

Michigan looks like a mitten, she said,
and home is the crook of the thumb.
She gave me a dry avocado stone.
I held it. It struck me dumb.

But then, I do like the way "Michigan/Mystery/Memory" fall down the side of the poem, as Mary points out. Again, I'm still thinking. And I'll think about "sink" as well, which could work. Cheers.

Thanks Mary,

I do like the feeling of making a statement, I think perhaps people shy away from them too much. I hope they don't have the negative connotations of "didactic" though, which is defined as

"intended to teach, particularly in having moral instruction as an ulterior motive.
in the manner of a teacher, particularly so as to appear patronizing"

If the statements were along the lines of "racism is bad" then they would be didactic but hopefully the examples you point out in the poem are more mysterious than that: subjective ideas presented as objective fact, in a way for the poet to understand them him/herself. I'm glad you like this. I really love reading what you see in the poems.

Hi Joe,

You're right about the Michigan line, though it honestly hadn't occurred to me. Now I can't help singing the opening of the poem! What a beautiful song that is. I'm glad lots of things resonated with you. And I'm glad you undertood the exotic qualities of the avacado. Also, there's something very strange about the stone when it's dry. It has a quality of polished wood. Thanks!

Hi David,

Thank you. I'm thinking about galaxies vs shipwrecks, and other things. I quite like the idea of saying something "fuzzy" in a very declarative way. There's lots of linked imagery in that stanza: weave/bind/hem/comb/, even the bladderwrack are like giant threads or hair. I'll take "gorgeous". Cheers.

Thanks for returning folks. This one is still percolating for me.