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Unread 08-25-2024, 11:09 AM
Carl Copeland Carl Copeland is offline
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Great, Julie! I like your version and am trying it out. It spoils the midline caesura, but that’s something I almost never manage to maintain throughout a hexameter poem. I think I like your “strong-scented” better than my rather ponderous “pungently scented.” One thing that no translation I’ve seen has captured is Pushkin’s interesting “strong-scented flight.” The problem is that everyone, including me, has felt the need for the “height/flight” rhyme in the first couplet. Another possibility for the last line would be: “The lion tracks the deer’s pungently fleeing traces.” “Fleeing traces” might be going too far, though. Thanks again, Julie!
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