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Unread 09-08-2024, 02:08 PM
David Callin David Callin is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Ellan Vannin
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Hi Carl. I think this works really well.

I only wonder about a few word choices - spotlights and crack (as mentioned by Glenn), really.

And also "you’ve gone up for the night" - does that sound right, I wonder? It doesn't necessarily suggest retiring for the night to me ... "you’ve turned in for the night", maybe?

Still, a good one.

Cheers

David
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