Fine poem. You could avoid some potential confusion by putting the song's title in quotation marks. I didn't notice the rhymes until they were pointed out. When the meter varies so much from line to line, it distracts readers from noticing the rhymes, which tends to be considered a good thing these days. I don't mind noticeable rhymes, but I seem to be in the minority currently. I thought I caught an allusion to Bunyan's Pilgrim's Progress in S3, but when you don't capitalize Pilgrim, it could be any pilgrim.
Susan
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