James -
It's good to see your work again.
I came away from several readings with the impression much the same as I might have after looking at a painting by Bruegel. There are marvelous details but the overall effect is impressionistic. The bodies of the mice, the background of the local and the people in it and the names of the mice. The piper is there and may be leading everything (after all, we are never told where the piper led the mice).
I can't point to anything in the piece that would benefit from a suggested change. I'd pay good money for a book that had this in it.
JB
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