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Unread 10-05-2024, 12:48 PM
Paula Fernandez Paula Fernandez is offline
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Join Date: May 2024
Location: Wilmette, IL
Posts: 87
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Susan--

I love this forum because I learn all the obscure poetry forms here. Thank you for introducing me to the rondine!

I like this one quite a lot--especially the ostrich plume. I thought the leap to the dazed bride was brilliant. It gave the poor little lilac bush a personality and roused empathy in me for her/it. As always, your craftsmanship is excellent.

My only "hmm" was on the next to last line which "dark shapes and uncertain doom" seemed too vague a fate--perhaps just a filler line. I would have preferred to carry on the metaphor with the lost groom.
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