Hi Cally,
As is often the case for me with your poems, this one had me rereading, and my appreciation of it grew the more I came back to it.
Like Nemo, I see wordplay on "Willing". I also sometimes find myself reading the title as if it were the first word of S1.
At first, like Roger, I wondered about what would happen if you cut S1. With its longer lines, lack of an active verb, more complex language ("complex" may be the wrong word) and more abstract imagery, S1 kind of stands out. That said, I'd miss it if it went. I love the idea of the death's shadow being itself -- it reads paradoxically, but also makes sense. And S2 and 3 don't work as well, for me, without the context of S1.
Still I do continue to wonder about S1. Would it work better with a verb, less abstraction, different lineation etc. Something. But I don't have a clear idea of what.
I do wonder if there might be an alternative to "to the core". Maybe something sea-related? I guess I'm partly wondering that because "to the core" is somewhat of a stock phrase, but also, because I'm not sure how "core", as in image, relates to the rest of the imagery. (Though, I guess, from a Buddhist perspective, something that is empty has no core, no essence/self, though that's maybe a bit of a stretch). Anyway, currently the sea imagery doesn't start until the 4th line, almost half-way through the poem. Then what follows is solid sea (ha!). A salty hint a touch earlier in the poem might be worth thinking about.
I really like the way that S2L2 reads straightforwardly -- missing boats are straightforwardly sea news, after all -- but then, on reaching the less expected, "empty man" I suddenly have the sense that the modifiers of S2 and S3 may have been reversed (Spoonerised?), which has me thinking of "an empty boat / a missing man". An "empty man" can have a negative sense (likewise "missing"), but also a positive one. And the man can be missing because he's empty (of self). The empty man/empty boat association had me thinking the Daoist sage Zhuangzi (Chuang Tzu) and his
parable of the empty boat, which concludes, "If a man could succeed in making himself empty and, in that way, wander through the world, then who could do him harm?”.
Another small thought. Perhaps "look" in the last line could be "comb"? As in beachcombing. (Though maybe the beachcombing connection wouldn't come across?) It has alliteration. And is suggestive of a finer, more thorough, search -- though that may not be what you want.
best,
Matt