Hi James. I like this a lot too. I have a similar memory of a Dutch nightclub, albeit at a much earlier time, and not a gay one (in any sense).
I am probably displaying both my age and my innocence by admitting that "twunk" is completely new to me.
I wondered about the river too - Lethe, not Styx - as (to me) the reference takes me out of the tone of the poem that you'd already set so well by then.
So, I think it's beautifully written, with a terrific - dare I say quite uplifting? - ending. I felt uplifted anyway.
Cheers
David
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