[Matt Q]

Hi John,

I also liked this, the pace at which it unfolds, what's said and unsaid (even if I may only have got some of the latter with help).

The title confused me. An orphanage is a place for orphans, which Buddy isn't, so I assumed the N was living in an orphanage, which would make him child. And if Clark is too heavy for Blondie to pick up, how can the N pick him up? (Ok, maybe Blondie is particularly weak due to all the moonshine she drinks.) If the N is an adult, what's the orphanage about? Does the N work there? Or is Clark in day-care at the orphanage, somehow?

However, I've just read James B's suggestion that the title indicates Buddy's eventual destination. In which case, I guess watching Clark "for a while" turned out to be more permanent, and she never came back, and the drooling was a sign of something imminently terminal, rather the temporary effects of home-stilled alcohol gone bad. So, I guess, I'm just letting you know that I missed that. Maybe it needs another clue. Or maybe I'm just a bit slow on this one. I think if had been called "The Orphan", I'd have got it fairly easily, but I took the current title to be giving the current setting.

I'd echo James M on L9, on replacing the second Blondie with "who". You could maybe also lose the "he" in "he would never even be ...". I also agree that line seems overlong. I reckon "(he) would never even be able to count to five" would be more impactful if it had a line to itself.

I think "down-syndrome" probably needs a capital 'D', even as a compound adjective.

The logic here could maybe be clearer:

I realized later Clark was a down-syndrome child.
I had never heard of that.


This read to me like he had never heard of Down's syndrome until he realised the Clark had Down's syndrome, which confused me, since how could he realise Clark had Down's syndrome if he'd never previously heard of it. Now, I realise you mean: back then, in the time of the story, he had never heard of it. But it still doesn't read to me that way. So I don't know if it needs a "back then" at the beginning or end of the sentence, or something similar.

best,

Matt