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Unread 10-23-2024, 09:23 PM
Max Goodman Max Goodman is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Sunnyvale, CA
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Welcome, Marshall! I recognize you as a frequent Light contributor.

"sharpest Hornet in the hive" lands well, an -ive rhyme I wasn't expecting.

Some of the -eal rhymes feel forced, including the repetend "steal," which doesn't feel like what the impatient driver is trying to do. I don't know why the angry driver would think N was concealing anything.

The congestion is described in terms of what isn't (no road ahead). If at least once the crowd of cars (referred to missably in the title) were mentioned, it would be more present in the poem.

The title made me expect something metaphysical.

FWIW.
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