John –
I think you’ve done a good job of capturing the sense of loss that comes with the realization that a part of you is no longer a part of you.
The physical loss is mirrored by the change in everything that remains – the beauty of the world becomes out of reach, the sense of what you are now smothers the sense of who you were, your world is interrupted, the equilibrium you carried with you is now unbalanced.
There are some good lines here - biting the tongue, the dark soil. The heaviness of now is tangible.
You can fiddle around with the words if you choose, but I feel this is solid in all the ways that matter.
JB
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